Thursday, 24 November 2011

cover that b00ty

The Girl without a mAp saw Barbados' singing sensation, Rihanna perform recently in London's famous O2 Arena.  I wasn't a fan before, i am not a fan now.
The ticket stated 'Gates open at 6.00pm '  I had the Standing tickets. I preferred to grooving to some good music on my feet rather than being bound to a tiny chair.  So gates open at 6.. to get there lets give it an hour.. eat some food err...wait in the long queues err...  roughly around  3.00pm i left my home to listen to 3- 4 songs performed live. THats all i knew of her... 3- 4 songs.. !

We (a friend and I ) get there at 5.. wait in the queue until the gates finally open at  7.30 pm.  Hmm.. not so bad.. so far so good. As we entered, got our drinks and waited..  I bought a bottle of water for later thinking that who is going to come out of the crowd and lose my near the stage space, the lady behind the counter unscrewed the bottle cap and chucked in the bin before handing over my purchase. I was puzzled at that.. how can i save this water from spilling with swaying crowds for later..  She interrupted those strings of thoughts by saying , we do that to prevent crowds from throwing caps on the stage. Looks like O2 has seen some rough days to think it all through. What they have not thought about is, what if a dufus chucks the bottle on the stage.. who needs a cap ?  i take a sip and chuck it in the bin.  We stand close to the stage..   I tell myself.. we are close to the stage.. all has gone as to plan.. rihanna will sing.. we'll enjoy.. we'll be home soon.. WRONG...
MAdame RI did come but at 9.45pm... ! .. how i wished i hadnt thrown the bottle away..

A few hallucinations later, there she is.. !

   A song later... she is still there on the stage..,  but with lesser clothes..

plus the raunchy steps are only raising the viewers ratings... from PG to 12A... hmmm
a few more songs... she appears in a suit... ahh... singing "UMBRELLA.. ela ela ela"

I can excuse the pole-dancin.. Music Videos of today have made it very easy these days to watch lewd scenes on telly without having to raise an eyebrow.  but then...  some lights flashin later.. the girls at the back tear her clothes off.. and then this happens

now the viewer ratings have climbed up to 15 , definitely 15 ..and soon jumping to 18 Adult content.  She pulls up a guy from the crowd, pushes him to the floor.. does some steps that more or less looks like dry humping.. i said it.. Not just that, takes his hands and lets them on her body... OKAY>>> its getting steamy.. and BHAM the stages goes down.. That boy , whoever he is, must have had a ..... cant blog it (Note to self :  zip the lip , MISSY)
ahem ahem.. getting back..  to Ri Ri,  this went on for hour.. come on, im not going to keep an account of every lewd move she made (but i totally did) ... She finally sang one of the songs i knew.. 'Unfaithful' She walked on to the stage in a beautiful yellow dress that covered all her privates well..thank the lord.. She looked stunning, the lights dimmed, and the song.. which btw way i was forced to like by my sister who just wouldn't stop playing that tune on her piano.

One can actually marvel at her voice and beauty when clothed... this is good..
but then..   moments later the fans switch on... (there always have to be a BUTT.. doesn't it ? )  and

this happens... arrey jaise chaddi dikhaane ki aadat si ho rakhi hai .. Apologies to my global readers... if its in Hindi, its not important. just some phrases , i cannot keep myself from writing.. You ain't missing on anything.. you are very much on track and my favorites :-*

By the end of show, I'm picturing my feet must be bleeding by now. They are NUMB..

i walk to the tube station at snail pace wondering if there any truth of the 'Illuminati' influence on the music industry (because i had to erase bikini images of rihanna of my mind... i had enough) and the triangular signs they kept on indicating throughout, with 18000 others wanting to get into the same tube.  and get home..
Days later, i get an email from my ninimou friend with this link..

and i jump out of my seat.. in agreement.. (clap clap clap)

Wednesday, 23 November 2011


Restlessness.I feel it.. Its coming to me again.  Not long ago I was watching a bollywood classic and the lady love of the movie emphasizes on a state of restlessness she feels that can be missing a train or something.. I feel the same now.. Maybe not the train bit but something else.  Everybody I love is going away.. How many long distant relationships can one person handle ? You know this sinking feeling is eating me up from within. I ask, am I meant to be here, meant to do this ???   I have lost so much to this dreadful word "geographical distance"...   God are you giving me a sign ?  Generation Next has its strange ways to deal with complexities of life , love , and freedom. 

Stag tag. Since when did being solo become a trend ? Everyone yaps about living life in without boundaries. free bird. It was me who thinks that "more the merrier " is a phrase that we can actually feel. Everyone runs for solitary contentment !  was it just me who thought that going stag was once considered incomplete. Remember the days when one had to burn a hole in their pockets for an entry in a club solo. The club man would look at you and ask "how many ?" Reply "2 couples and 3 stags" the money for stags would be more than that of the couples. WeLL, things have changed, its a path that most of us choose today. 

Hope. This is all one can hang on to. you meet as strangers and share your life.. When its time to part ways (geographically) we find ourselves reassuring one and other for a bright future. A place where we'd still find time to rekindle our ties. This chapter has been well read. Its time to hop on to the next. However, the book is NOT over yet.. 

"The roughest roads are not found across rivers and mountains ...... but in peoples hearts"  

(Found this written in a gift shop... its by Bai Juyi.. and i couldn't agree more)

I see a storm approaching.. 

Saturday, 12 November 2011

The day after the button post

Apparently my blog post was so powerful, that it got a friend of mine come over this evening and fix it for me.. Not only that, i learnt how to sew a button too !!!  It turns out to be no rocket science.. I cannot tell you how much i love my "FIX IT" friends..  Now i have a perfectly well fitting jacket that will keep me warm as i walk on the streets of London.. but i'll sure miss you Mom.. 

The sentimental case of the broken Button

Well.. Weather is getting pretty shitty here.. Its getting dark at 4 pm..  I hate to admit that weather plays a significant role when living in this country. If you think why do people rant about weather day in and day out.. i used to think that too but somewhere down the line i have become one of them.. ! Before leaving the house, i do not check the weather on BBC.. but i do make judgements on my own by looking out of the window.. Its pretty simple.. They only thing to estimate is "how grey is the sky going to be all day.. grey-er than yesterday ? "  You can do it too.. And then wear layers on top of layers to combat the cold endured waiting endlessly for at bus at the open air bus stops. In London you know fashion if you can adorn layers upon layers of clothing without resembling a stuffed turkey.. !   If you find balance between two sweaters and scarfs and manage looking pretty damn sexy then voila.... you can start a clothing range yourself to beat (the mother of many children and yet skinny) Mrs Beckham..

Moving on, One grey evening whilst walking home from work I was freezing. It was pretty damn cold for a day in end of October. One thing you must know is, a button of my jacket has fallen out. And this 24 year old does not know how to pass a thread through a needle, let alone the productive stuff.  I had asked a dear friend of mine to stitch it for me but for some or the other reason it never just worked. Day 1 , when i met her.. she didn't have the button stitching tools.. so on DAy 2 i got it for here and left it on her cabinet and totally forgot about it that day.. DAy 3 , when i was hell bent on getting that button fixed, we couldn't find the stitching tools on that same cabinet.. DARN !!! This is jinxed.. SOme highly effective forces of nature want me to walk home cold each day.. Now thinking of it, my heating at home doesn't work too... The snow gods are sure miffed..

As i walked home that evening.. and winds were strong.. i was freezing.. I was thought to myself.. What a shame, i never learnt how to fix a broken button.. How hard it could be ? Apparently, very !  And as i walk my way home.. i thought of who would generally stitch for me.. or fix things in my life ? My MOMMY... haaa i miss her so much. I started to think about her.. and found a big smile on my face. I started to think of all those little little things she does for not only me but also the whole wide world around her.. Mums make you believe in loving someone unconditionally..   Had i been button-less in the cold.. i know MOMMY would have fixed it that very instant.. don't know how she does it ? And this is just an instance i am blogging about.. But i think about her countless of times in moments like these.. when i know her presence would have made all the difference..  And before i knew it, i was home.. She may not be around to fix my jinxed jacket but just by thinking about her i could feel her loving warmth and she fixed me...  It was magic..  I love you MOmmy.. !!!                         P.S : If she reads this post, she is going to send me flight ticket to get back home NOW.. !  Its going to be a brief SOS call.. I would be asked to board the flight with my buttonless jacket immediately .. No questions asked..

Thursday, 3 November 2011

God save the Blog QuEEn !!

I should be  crowned the "blog queen". Not because my blog entries have maximum views / comments, or not that I have a gazillion followers or anything.. but only because, since my blogging mania has began, I have suggested blogging to almost everybody in my life.  Its almost like an impulse. You meet someone... catch up on "how life sucks" updates. (Sometimes it feels as though we are in a 'Whose life sucks more' competition).. A coffee later, i say.. "You know what will help, Start blogging". Now one thing you should know about me... if I have make a point I can get annoying. that's right. Nagging (AT TIMES) becomes my forte.. As I say this I am sure many of my dear friends must be jumping of their seats nodding their heads in agreement.. some teary-eyed due to the torture they have endured over years.  And to all of those who are shocked at my brave confession.. I am growing up guys.. ;-)   

So BAck to my point,  I have been actively promoting BLOGS  to the people in my circle. That's only because I have been enjoying this process so much that I want to blog about everything... When i say everything... i mean EVERYTHING !!! Come on, the slug I found in the garden outside my house will not exactly be an interesting read on 'life without a map', or, will it ? I wonder...   

Friend 1 :  "I need a job... i have bills to pay ... empty stomachs to fill"   
Me : " oh dear.... you know what ... Blog it"

Friend 2 :    "I have a job... I have the love of my life... I have a Hermes Birkin... I love my life..."
Me :  " (envious) I am sure you don't have a blog... muhahahahha"

Friend 3 :  " i hate my life.. nothing is going right... why me God... why me"
Me :   "(sympathetically)  everything will be alright... In the meantime why don't you start blogging my baby ?"

Friend 4:   " I have called to say goodbye... after this call gets disconnected.. I'm going to pull the trigger pointing to my head"
Me :   "Wait a sec, this is more important, have you blogged it yet ? "

You get the drill...  Please don't unfriend me.
I promise I'll stop once you START BLOGGING !!!!

(on second thoughts.. )

One rainy day , I had some friends over. After gobbling down a NAndos chicken Pita and peri peri chips, they decided its time for them to leave. Now my funky block of flats have given me the privilege to park TWO whole cars in the car park at the back of the building. All you need to do is , display a parking badge on the dashboard and its rest assured that your vehicle shall not be clamped by the grumpy man in charge to punish nasty offenders. In London to have two empty spaces to park is as valuable as owning  Titanic' memorabilia !  The sad part is that i have ZERO cars parked in there.  that's another story... (heavy heart)
So when i have guests, i escort them to the door... but when i have vehicle owning guests, i walk them till the car park.. not only to say a sweet goodbye with all my heart but also to collect my parking badge resting on the flashy dashboards. If i don't do that, and say lose those badges..(God Forbid) my landlord will happily drive all the way from Birmingham to fine me 50 pounds for the loss each badge. This piece of cardboard cut in circular shapes with some rubbish written on it values to a whooping 100 pounds. So just as usual, i walked my friends to their car...the way to the car park is a small patch of grass and stone tiles in the middle for people to walk. Whilst walking to the car, I saw slug crossing one of the stone tiles. This slug must be say 5- 6 cms long. I noticed it, made sure not to come in its way , and walked to the car.. said goodbye.. collected the important car park badge and walked home.  Ten minutes later i get call from the same friend saying that she cannot find her credit card  that she used to buy Nandos take away blah blah... she looked everywhere no sign of it. So i looked everywhere at home, under the couch, on the floor etc. I also walked outside and walked down the same route we had taken to walk to the car, hoping that she had dropped her card while getting into the car.This went on for another ten mins.  All efforts in vain ! I was sure that the card is no where fallen on my territory. I have looked everywhere.  As i was walking back, lost in thoughts of the missing card, i see that same slug again !!!! Its crossing the same damn tile and moved two steps from when i last saw it.. i look at it.. and break into a smile.. "Ninimou... where do you want go ? let me help you... you take donkey years to get to your destination at such pace.. ! "  Got no reply from the SLUG... it continued its journey across the mighty tile.. 

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

PG needed..

Baz Luhrmann left us with some very wise words about getting to know your parents. I am 4468 miles away from home for a little less than 6 months now and cannot stop thinking about home. Like every other family, we have our ups and downs.. but we manage to stick together. There are so many ways to communicate these days that makes one feel nothing about the distance.. infact there are more means than people. But how will i get my goodnight hug & kiss from Mamma and Papa over skype ? Bear hug emoticon irritates me anyway !  
Baz is a genius.. He made a song of a famous essay that probably not many of us would have read. Now its a song with tonnes of truth and philosophy..  'Suncreen' believe it or not.. we need it.. we also need the wisdom..