Saturday, 30 June 2012

Heading to the Jungle GODS..

I am all set to  head to the jungles of south... some things are planned... some are not.. This seems ideal.. 4 days away from work, emails, sales figures & taxes  - is going to pure NIRVANA..

I cannot wait to get there..  

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Saturday Night Special : Humiliation for free

Weeks after a raid at so-called Bombay's top rave party, I find some news missing from my daily newspaper. OK, Let me think straight, Mumbai Police's Social Service branch responsible to make every human in the city feel safe has been on a rampage..

They walk into a PUB , shove all 153 party goes in to dirty police van and line them in in police station / govt hospital for Narcotics test. And thus ill treat and humiliate them. Foreign Nationals present at the party are left with a bitter experience to fly out of our double standards ridden country with nothing but memories.. bad bad memories.  
However, this creates a stir amongst the MEDIA. They finally have some 'dope' to cover !
they are jumping of their seats incapable of controlling the adrenalin in their system. 

Newspapers stated that they found some bullocks amount of cocaine & Ecstasy pills in a white plastic bag from that RAVE RAID. A sun down party that terrace top of a hotel in Juhu started at 3pm. This raid took place at 6 pm..  Three hours into the party (READ: a dangerous place where illegal activities take place) all guests must have been stoned on bountiful coke ! However , this was not the case at all.. weeks past this incident, not even a single narcotic test has come out positive. There is no news about it. I ask why ?

Next RAid, i suggest party goers to keep an eye on these nasty police officials.. They must be carrying plastic bags filled with drugs under their shirts that could easily pass as their BEER Belly * paan spit out*

Plus Mr BOBBLE incharge of Social Service is a prick. His criminal record goes a lonnnng bloody way. And he is on a mission to protect women from evil. As a woman, i fear from the COPS not from the public. Men in uniform are to be feared not the common man enjoying a drink or two on top of a hotel terrace.

COPS TURN CRIMINALS (vice versa)  

Saturday, 16 June 2012

You know its Monsoons in Mumbai when..

waves doing bhangra at Worli sea face

  • we see hideous raincoats laden humans on the street..[a middle - aged pot-bellied man in yellow rain suit with red and blue umbrellas print is not exactly Versace's idea of  Monsoon collection]
  • Kids cringe to wake up for school.. (this time cringe for a reason *giggle*)
  • all TV channels play Mumbai Deluge 2006 archives in a loop scaring us for our dear lives
  • Speed-breakers develop potholes
  • Two- wheelers ride like wusses *bhahaha*
  • you find confused ladies sitting behind the wheel figuring out their complex wiper system
  • these same ladies drift their cars to the right / left without their knowledge *tsk tsk*
  • walking on the road is a b*tch as four wheelers happily spray muddy water through their tyres
  • potholes develop super potholes
  • relishing a chatpata pani-puri from the street can be your express ticket to the hospital 
  • the waves go wild , and i absolutely love watching them sippy my cuppa tea.. 
  • standing on the Marine drive promenade and battle waves & muddy sea water is fun..
  • you do not get bombarded with honks/ mean looks/ abuses for driving slow..  
  • you do not look stupid when you fog lights are left on and you had no clue
  • ladies in the above situation would struggle to find what fog lights are in the first place and hence drift the car to a diasaster.. you kno the drill..
  • one searches for india's national bird to see some delightful dance.. but all we find is pigeon poop
  • bad hair days are acceptable... afterall the humidity gets us all !
  • i make hyper plans to trek to Kanheri caves..
  • None of our trouser's seams retain original color.. they all seem to turn to different shades of brown
  • when i discuss dance steps of 'barso re megha megha' with some fools