Whosoever told you that life is beautiful....is a big fat LIAR

I wish I could punch you in the face this very moment..  Will that make me feel any better ?  MAybe ..  Well, later on i can make it  a part of my analysis that does punching someone really helps me feel any better in a "urghhh" moment.. now because its ur lucky day today i am not going to give you details abt why my moment is going urghhhh right now.. Your lucky day because u don't get that punch i mentioned above as u ain't in front of me right now. . the only suckers getting a good bashing right now are the keys on this not so lucky keyboard... 

Why are humans so sick.. Unsatisfied souls.  I am yet to meet a person who is content with his/her life. Does Dalai Lama have lama issues? ... he may have the aura of an angel but he ain't got it all...coz Nobody gets it all.. !! I'm reading story of Gautam Buddha these days..and  before learning about his strengths..Siddhartha (later known as Buddha) had his own issues too..

We are accustomed to whinge..  When you are kid, you want almost every toy you lay your eyes on, when u get what you want, you want your favourite comic, when you have that , you want your friend's (not so good but seems very interesting because its not yet yours) comic.. and the greedy saga continues with choice of clothes, jobs, friends, partners (raise your hand up , if you want your friend's girlfriend/wife)...ahh this is so annoying..  I am fed up... fed up wanting new things and analysing what i had before and how i could have done better.. We, Humans,seem to master the art of practising uninvited misery...Dont even get me started on GIRLS !!!  

Did Mother Teresa have (humble) insecuritiesof her own ? Why is there a need for so much drama in our lives?  I suggest God Almighty brings down our emotional quotient a couple of notches lower than what it is .. Make this world whine-free.. If any of my Neurosurgeons are reading, which is highly unlikely, please invent EQ reduction surgeries..  My male friends would back me up.. Breast reduction OR women blabber reduction .. huh huh huh.. i bet it would always be the latter one... To dearest Cosmetic surgeons , Guess who kicked you in the stomach !

What can i say, One mans 'recovery' .. is other man's illness/unemployment.. This previous statement made very little sense, grammatically but I'm too bored to frame it right.. Please allow me.. I am the one going through some "urghhh" times, remember ?

After letting it out, will it be fair to ask a chance to punch you in the face again ?  I bet you will understand..because you are reading through this post..and have got to the end of it.. that means you have the patience go through this torment or you have nothing better to do.  Please tell me this isn't a pity read..   is it ? 

Bye BYe.. I am going to scream into my pillow..

ola kala...

Did you know that the word OK originates from the Greeks..Its actually 'Ola Kala..O.K'  .. This post is about a greece through a brown girls eyes.. Today the adrenalin has come down to normal levels. Since the time i have landed in Thessaloniki Airport , i experienced a whirlwind of emotions.. So much to take in such little time. I have eaten so much food in two days, that it would feed atleast 2-3 Somalians for a week! Feta cheese, beurdi, Bugaazta, peppers, Papadopolous biscuits,suvlakiya and so much more..How these people parade in sexy bikinis in the summer when they eat such good food all year through ?    There is a lot of love here. People have only gppd thoughts about the other..if there are any bad thoughts,they are washed away with ciggarettes and coffees. I believe that the grey clouds i see in the sky are only because of ciggarette smoke.  I know in years to come this truth will come to light..Athens is a city of ruins..and Ruins are beautiful, as they remind me of ups and downsin life... What was contemprorary then... is ancient and beautiful now.. 

its all 'bout the mOney mOney mOney...

Its fair to say that my first experience of travelling via ryan air was a bit too "warm" for my liking.  I should be writing a book soon.. "The hoo haa surrounding ryan air" published by We are too Cheap to print on paper Publications..    My stress levels were pumping 15 days before my flying.. Size dimensions of the bag, 100 ml liquid bottles, zip lock 20x20 cms bags.. i know everything about travelling cheap... When i first weighed my bag, (the meagre 10 kilos allowance) it was 11.2 kgs.. 10 mins later , Shagufta Mulla adorns 7 t-shirts, one demin jacket and a overcoat and stilettos off her way to security.. ! I clear security, bag check and all of that.. once waiting to board i breathe a sigh of relief ... Go to the toilet..Get all those extra clothes and accessories off me. And 6 t-shirts, one jacket lighter , i am a happy bunny !   an hour later, boarding is announced.. So i make my way to the gate.. WHat do i see ? one cabin bag check... DAMN... what if they check bag weight and size again.. im screwed.. i had stuffed my bag so much that i knew it wont meet the criteria..  So i had to do, what i was dreading all through... wear all those clothes again and board the flight resembling a stuffed turkey !  SUCKS..I couldn't help but notice the cost cutting measures the airline has used. Business students generally dig these sorta stuff. Boring. Ryan air is affordable because i believe they haven't heard of staff training.. The steward and stewardesses are the chubby ones that are sacked from other airlines..  The safety manual is printing at the back of the seats... (instead of the good ole TV)  there are only images and no instructions. I couldn't understand most of the images due to space constraints on the little panel for instructions. There is a confusing image and just when u strain your neck to decipher what it says... BHAM there is a red line across it.. How am i supposed to even know what it should mean ? But, i get it why.. Ryan air's response to this would be that oh you passengers, why are you complaining... your life is so cheap that you are sitting aboard this flight in the first place ! Nobody has got nothing to lose, if u die in a crash... coz you are CHEAP... your seat is cheap... the paninis on board are not !  I had reached a point when i took a solemn vow  , cramped up on my cheap seat.. "Never again.."


3 hours later... realised.. It was worth it !!  A happy bunny again !

a content msg..

I feel very happy today. I feel most of the time I have followed my heart and taken my own decisions. I havent done things because the world says to do this at the right time. I have followed my peanut sized brain at all times ! The key to happiness is balance. We will spend our entire life striving for this much needed balance. Somehow I have achieve to to this so far. Not a great achievement because I have many for years to go... and in these coming years different phases to deal with. ahhhh.. we'll cross the bridge when we'll come to it, right ? This blog entry has no head or tail. so be wise and do/ read something worthwhile(try SHANTARAM). I am exercising my chubby fingers on this keyboard and typing what ever that comes to my mind in pretense that my french manicure would look better on thinner fingers.. lol see i told you.. this entry is pointless.  When we are born, its as though your whole life is planned for you... education.. career choice .. ambition.. (clear throat) marriage age ... how many years later the babies should come into this world .. EVERYTHING..  Who decides whats right.. whats wrong..What if a person grew up to think differently.. .It all boils down to how you look at things. In every angle matters seem different. Humans love it. They love to gossip.. thrive on other's sorrowful stories. I pity these low life losers. Cant find happiness in their own lives and probably never will.. and sadly this world is filled with such people.. Negative energy galore ! All i have to tell them is KARMA is a bitch, baby.. WATCH OUT !!!! bhahaha

I feel part of the universe.. open up to meet me

alright, i cannot resist doing this... as its so close to my heart and very well explains the whirlwind of emotions in me and the emotional rut i am in at the moment.. ! i seek refuge...

"I want to have a lasting experience of God.  Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then i lose it because i get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But i don't want to be a monk,or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God "

He answered "To find balance, this is what you must become... you must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead. That way, you'll know God"

Thoughts of E.Gilbert, blatantly copied by me..  

tring tring.... Tony ?

When I'm ready to go to bed, I set an alarm in it.. When I'm in deep sleep dreaming about swimming in Cancun , or hula hula dance in Hawai, or being in Mr Branson's shoes, I frown being interrupted by the noises it makes..  When I wake up every morning I check it for email, texts, missed calls... When I'm commuting or excercising (very rare), I listen to  foot tapping/ soul searching numbers on it.. When I see something worth being captured I click photos or film videos on it...  When nostalgic, i browse through old texts..
Cellphones !!!! Acording to my limited sample survey research 99 % of  adolescent and adult population are addicted to mobile phones.. addicted may be harsh word.. lets say over-dependent.  I have 2000 free minutes each month and trust me by the month end I have to use them economically.. A person who can talk to trees & bees , i confess that i have to use my free minutes wisely.  We live in a mobile phones driven world..  A 100 meters walk to the corner shop u carry your phone.. when you walk from one room to another you carry your phone..  Some people I know carry theirs to the toilet (you know who you are).  Who cares about the over exposure to cellphone radiation , when global crisis and  hypocrisy  of our world leaders is going to give us a stroke anyway !  Since i started using cellphones, my memory has gone for a toss. All i remember now is, where did i last keep my phone.. in my bag.. or kitchen table ? The few telephone numbers i knew byheart have been erased like Dubai's coastline. swisshhhh.. all gone. i can barely remember my own cellphone number ! i have saved it in my contacts as 'ME orange'.. there is another one below it that says 'ME lebara'.. I wonder what is this need to constantly be in touch with the outside world. For years and years our forefathers/ grandfathers lived perfectly normal lives without being pinged constantly..they didnt care about whatsapp or shazam.. they looked for letters and telegrams that they cherished for years and passed it on to their coming generations, where as we fear a memory card crash, drug addict robbers or damaged display that would take our golden memories away in a jiffy.. Now,we have fewer  friends and more means to communicate.  There is no escape. I cant take a little time off to get lost in my own thoughts from my own BB dominated life. 

An old prank..
(Dials a random landline number)

Tring tring.... tring tring...
Me: hello, tony hai ?
XYZ : nahi.. wrong number..

tring tring...
Me : hello, tony hai ?
XYZ: Wrong number boss

tring tring tring tring
Me: CAn i speak tony ?
XYZ: (irritated) you have dialed the wrong number

moments later

Tring tring
Me: tony?
XYZ: Arre .. bola na wrong number

Tring tring
Me: hello tony hai?
XYZ (angrily) nahi nahi nahi...

Tring tring
Me:  tony , kahan hai tu ?
XYZ: (screams) wapas phone kiya toh police ko bolunga

Instantly.

Tring tring
Me: Main tony bol raha hoon.. mere liye koi phones ?
XYZ: kahan hai be tu ? %$&^%*$#%^$&^ %#^%*&(*&

in search for tranquility

"Gunda....  Gunda.. " I see Victor screaming in his loud husky voice. I look back and see a ferocious dog running towards me. In slow motion, one would have noticed me praying for my life. Having being attacked by a dog once before, angry running dogs scare the shit out of me. Victor says  "Come on Gunda, you're a good boy" . Now heres a sentence you dont get to hear often. Gunda , a hindi equivalent to a gangster/ dacoit and a good boy .. hmm  why would one name ones dog gunda.. hmm wait a min.. i see the way he is running , gunda has the angry spartans attacking troy look in his eyes..  may be thats why.  Gunda meets his master and there is cootchie cooing which i must admit is an adorable sight to see. Later i learn that there is not only one Gunda, there is a whole gunda gang in the estate. I am in a remote place called Kolagaparra, in the district of Wayanad, Kerela.  I am here for four days living in Tranquil Plantations Hideaway..  Its just the family who owns it and us. Luckily the few rooms it has are all not booked for these four days so we have the place for ourselves.

Being born to travel agents parents, I got to travel a lot as i was growing up. We (my sisters and I ) visited so many places as toddlers that I might not be able to recollect the prime reason of our visit. All i remember is flashes of incidents that now seem funny.  My sisters and I would tag along mom and dad, staring at odd things and marveling at things totally absurd and inappropriate. Maybe someday i'll write about our antics.. when i am further in my blog process. Now its too early to open that trove and best decision to avoid early judgements.  Coming back to Tranquil, the rooms are huge dark wood cottages. When i enter the room, i can smell citronella. Most places in Kerela smell like aroma therapy spa. Its lovely.. Gods own country has a surplus of incense sticks supply!  A walk around the cottages makes this homestay experience very luxurious. Its cleanliness , decor and service is impeccable.
The dinner service is intimate. There is a table for say 20. The family comprises of Victor, his wife Rajni and his mom .. dunno her name. But what i do know is, she is British , who came to India in her teens during the British Raj, fell for an Indian soldier and married him and never went back. Now thats a sweet story. This lady, lets call her 'Bold n Beautiful' will tell you why.  She is 'Mrs Doubtfire' looking woman who dresses up in evening wear for dinner. She walks with a smile into the dining room with matching earrings and red lipstick which has trouble staying under the lines. In the four days i stay there , i learn that all she does is watches 'The Bold and the Beautiful' on star world , knits, reads and dresses up for dinner. She absolutely loves it here.  Her life stories are enchanting. The food is a lavish affair of 9- 10 dishes, 2- 3 desserts.. its fancy.. Victor and Rajni are lovely.. we chat.. laugh.. its as though you have known them for years.  I had a different picture about homestays. I thought homestay guests are served tiny bowl of tasteless unseasoned pasta and put to bed at 9.00pm in sleeping bags ! thats my Christchurch experience.  (No offense to Laurie and Sandra Andrews )

 The following days, I am driven around in a rustic jeep to enjoy the views of vast coffee plantations. Not my cup of tea/coffee really but sitting in a open jeep and engine going "grrrrrr" up the slopes is fun. My day goes by eating.. talking to the staff.. relaxing in the pool which is all for ourselves, avoiding deja vu of dog attacks and taking in aromatic citronella smells. In the evening it pours like cats & dogs..  seems like a cloud burst. My sisters and i dance in rain going around palm trees like bollywood stars. And at nights, i listen to BB and her world war stories.  The Edakal caves are not far from the house. The name "Edakkal" literally means "a stone in between", and this describes how the cave is formed by a heavy boulder straddling a fissure in the rock. It quite a sweaty walk up there but the views are worth it. A frail lanky man led us to the top. At first, i thought, i'd have to carry him but boy .. these locals have the stamina to climb ! I drank 3 galloons of "mineral"water stored in unsealed mineral water bottles.
Three hours later, a three shades darker , I had climbed the Ambukuthi mala mountain.  What you sun tan lovers doing on Goa beaches, climb this mountain.. it works and how !   Also not to forget Muthanga Wildlife Sanctuary , where i am lucky to spot the most awaited sight of the tiger. Not so lucky at the end coz the heat and weather change has given me a sinus attack. Well i can deal with sinus attack rather than a gunda attack !

Tranquil is a lovely place.. lovely people and lovely memories.. there are mosquitoes but the staff keeps them away..  i wish i can go there someday again..