Coffee turns sour..

Business is all about connections. You meet people, all sorts of people, connect , bond and remain in touch for mutual benefit [In most cases just benefit].  If lucky, these meetings could become casual , acquaintances will become friends, friends shall become good friends. But this is rare to find in the corporate world, since everyone is just about money. If not to bring you down and take your place , then stamp over you and go ahead.

I meet many people. The Good , The Bad , The Ugly. At a recent coffee meeting, I met a person i once had the highest regards for.  When you meet people for the first time, you consciously look for that common playground. Once you have found that level playing field, then the conversations flow.
So we at this fancy place, order has been placed, pleasantries have been exchanged.  and then BHAM..
Nothing turns me off more than having to converse with a stingy or a show-off. And this one is a "SHOW -OFF".   My face turns purple, my eyes begin to pop, my hair begins to curl out of frustration. Why God why, why bundle my admiration in a highest regard bag and swing it to the Show-off wall ?
A person who mentions about his wealth 348 times in 2 hour conversation is [pardon me] the poorest of all. Unless , he bundles all that cash, diamonds and land papers to his grave made of platinum. No, i take that back , not even then.
Excerpts of our conversation  rather BOMBS thrown over at me :

" i love five star palace hotels "
[now i am a person who has slept on a concrete bed, stained bed sheet in Gokarna and paid Rs 100 for a night and consider that as my best trip so far]

Now how will this ever work ??  My face turns purple, my eyes begin to pop, my hair begins to curl out of frustration.

"My extended family are all jewellers.. so diamonds have been pouring in our homes since a very young age "
[now i am a person who picks up pretty looking stones from the beach and make them in to rings.. Gold makes me puke]

My face turns purple, my eyes begin to pop, my hair begins to curl out of frustration.

"Mahesh lunch home looks dingy.. I prefer SOMA for south Indian , You know SOMA right ? its in Grand HYATT"
[when a candy falls on the floor/ muck / dirt , i dust it and eat it]

My face turns purple, my eyes begin to pop, my hair begins to curl out of frustration. My face turns purple, my eyes begin to pop, my hair begins to curl out of frustration. My face turns PURPLE, my eyes begin to POP, my hair begins to CURL out of frustration.  Grrrr

A little later, my mind has blocked that voice registering into my brain. all i hear is this..

[blah = fart noises]

" Last nite... blah blah blah blah , AUDI.. blah blah blah , my SOLITAIRE fell... blah blah blah .. my HERMES BIRKIN bag blah blah blah  i stayed in TAJ LAKE PALACE .... blah blah blah.. but they didn't give me the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE.. blah blah blah.. i will sue them and sign the papers with my MONT BLANC pen  blah blah blah blah... my LOUBOUTINs oh i love them... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...  "  

SHUT THE FUCK UP !
 
Its a shame you don't live my life. All i wish is you get to live it one day and that day should be soon.

The milk in my cappuccino turned sour that minute this conversation started.. Sour from the shit you speak.. sour from the bubble you live in.. sour from your stinking guts.. This meeting is over..

I storm off that five star place, drive to a dingy stall on the corner of the road.. order for a cup of cutting chai.. and i am back in heaven.

EAT DIAMONDS.. and POOP PLATINUM... for all i care

its all 'bout the mOney mOney mOney...

Its fair to say that my first experience of travelling via ryan air was a bit too "warm" for my liking.  I should be writing a book soon.. "The hoo haa surrounding ryan air" published by We are too Cheap to print on paper Publications..    My stress levels were pumping 15 days before my flying.. Size dimensions of the bag, 100 ml liquid bottles, zip lock 20x20 cms bags.. i know everything about travelling cheap... When i first weighed my bag, (the meagre 10 kilos allowance) it was 11.2 kgs.. 10 mins later , Shagufta Mulla adorns 7 t-shirts, one demin jacket and a overcoat and stilettos off her way to security.. ! I clear security, bag check and all of that.. once waiting to board i breathe a sigh of relief ... Go to the toilet..Get all those extra clothes and accessories off me. And 6 t-shirts, one jacket lighter , i am a happy bunny !   an hour later, boarding is announced.. So i make my way to the gate.. WHat do i see ? one cabin bag check... DAMN... what if they check bag weight and size again.. im screwed.. i had stuffed my bag so much that i knew it wont meet the criteria..  So i had to do, what i was dreading all through... wear all those clothes again and board the flight resembling a stuffed turkey !  SUCKS..I couldn't help but notice the cost cutting measures the airline has used. Business students generally dig these sorta stuff. Boring. Ryan air is affordable because i believe they haven't heard of staff training.. The steward and stewardesses are the chubby ones that are sacked from other airlines..  The safety manual is printing at the back of the seats... (instead of the good ole TV)  there are only images and no instructions. I couldn't understand most of the images due to space constraints on the little panel for instructions. There is a confusing image and just when u strain your neck to decipher what it says... BHAM there is a red line across it.. How am i supposed to even know what it should mean ? But, i get it why.. Ryan air's response to this would be that oh you passengers, why are you complaining... your life is so cheap that you are sitting aboard this flight in the first place ! Nobody has got nothing to lose, if u die in a crash... coz you are CHEAP... your seat is cheap... the paninis on board are not !  I had reached a point when i took a solemn vow  , cramped up on my cheap seat.. "Never again.."


3 hours later... realised.. It was worth it !!  A happy bunny again !