from fab to flab

When I look in the mirror, I see a person who was once very happy with her weight, until the unwanted kilos got added on. When in London, i  want to lose weight, but the boredom of cooking solo gets to me. Plus when in a foreign country, food cooked by others is most welcomed, whether its a Chinese take away or a kebabish. People eat to live but i live to eat. Once a friend pointed out, 'what is with you people, u eat breakfast and can't stop thinking what u'll day for lunch.. and once lunch is over , u think about dinner'. Now, I'm home, its tougher to lose weight. Mom is feeding me with tasty treats morning noon and night. And my expandable tummy just can't get enough of it. I hate this double chin (bastard) that peeps out in photographs. This time the damage is lot more. seems like the flabs are here to stay. All i do is talk talk talk... very little action. I'll do lunges, crunches. MAybe i should join the gym, I love swimming.. helps to tone, next time I'll climb 7 floors, NO using lifts, no butter on my toast plz, ginger lemon tea in the morning to boost metabolism, only fruit and veg for a week, no bananas, maybe I'll eat half my stomach's capacity..  This are some of the thoughts that come in my mind each minute !  2012.. please be my year to lose all my excess kilos. I'm down on my knees. In a few months i will resemble Guddi MAruti. And i will have to find my Yokuzona.  and we will live in a extra large world.. 

Aaj toh bahut crazy hogaya.. !

"All full , madam", said the burly man behind the low lit counter in a heavy southindian accent.


"what ? not even one room.. all beach shack owners asked us to check Ganesh Cafe. We had high hopes. Please. Single room will also do." I said noticing vibrant pictures of Hindu Gods on the wall and below them tables full of dreadlocks tanned foreigners singing, laughing, drinking and smoking.


"No room, today Saturday.. AAAL FULL(a). Try some other place"


"Please, one room.. where will three girls sleep ?", I said. Referring to 'Damsel in distress' situation works most of the time in India. Indian men like all other men love a good ego boost of helping a woman when she is needy (In most parts of Bihar, she will be molested). However, this holds true for a few people now, and that number is too rapidly diminishing but always worth a try.  He says no and walks away.This time its a firm NO. Why I kept pushing is because, shack owners hold vacant rooms for foreigners as they can charge them more money. I understand that. Everyone works to make more and more money.  They cannot charge us 300% more, we are locals we will verbally bash them.  Hence we are roomlesss mainly because we are brown. Talk abt Racism !
Three girls walk out of Ganesh Cafe disappointed.The feeling wasn't new to us. Some of the shack owners nodded their heads seeing us at a distance. We didn't even have to communicate. Now I'm starting to get a little worried. I search my rucksack for a sip of water. A five hour train journey + 40 mins in a mini van crammed with people double its capacity + a rickshaw ride up the hill + walk on the beach with bags in search of a room in atleast 8 shacks has taken its toll.  Beaches of Gokarna, Karnataka, unfortunately had no place for us to rest for the night.


Seven years back my chaddi buddy shifted to another state to pursue a career in Medicine, I had plans to visit her ever since. A plan waiting on my to do list for years never really materialised until last week.  A part of me thinks of the 2012 end to the world and is slowly but surely scratching of items of my long bucket list. Either way, I am going to benefit from it, my pockets.. not so much.
This winter when I visited Bombay, I had decided, I am visiting her (Bappi Da) in Mangalore. Hence a three night trip was planned. I got to Mangalore after a 6 hour wait at the airport. My 9 am flight got cancelled (they hate me) and the next one was at 1 pm, which got delayed by an hour..LUCKY ME.. One of those days when you buy a novel and finish it too.

Wannabe Doctor

I spent first 24 hours in her city, exploring a Doctor's life, watching her drive like a maniac *proud*, learnt hospital intern gossip, giggled at dental mentals, drank Nandini Lassi and other local delights, witnessed a man being stitched in the Casualty Ward after a RTA (Road traffic Accident) as blood oozed out of his wounds, pleaded a cinema manager to let us watch a south indian film that had started an hour ago (permission denied),battled lizards, and walked in Hospital premises confidently pretending to be a Doctor. Also learnt that she is the gang leader of her Hostel and everybody pays respect to her while passing her room each time. Gang-leader, purely due to her kindness, willingness to help, and her impeccable comic timing. Little do the girls know that, BAppi books train tickets, as its her favourite pastime. If there is one thing, besides Sorority life she LOVES, it has to be the drama and tension of being wait listed on Indian Rail website. Indian Rails are not like any other. One has to be on it, to believe it.  

sail away..

Thereafter, Bappi Da had planned a trip to Gokarna, 380 Kms away from Managlore, train tickets were booked.. return wasn't.. and no accommodation. Being a regular at impulsive trips, my dear friend assured me that we will find a place to stay without any effort. WRONG !!


Walking on the beach barefoot, sweaty, tired, in search of a room at night time would not be regarded as without any effort.  I looked ahead, only two more beach shacks to go.  If not those, we had two options
a) hire a rickshaw and go 3 kms into the city to find a place
b) hold on to our bags and sleep on the beach


Option A was out of the question, we didn't travel all this way to stay in a place where we couldn't hear the waves hit the shore! Then Option B it is !

 Palace de Gokarn

We walked in to the next place, it didn't even have a board.There was power cut and the place was dimly lit with candles one on each table. A young girl walked out, serving food to her guests. We asked for a room, At first she said no. then went in to ask her parents. The three were running helter-skelter to complete orders. Each member of the family spoke to us for not less then 3 seconds, they would run back to the kitchen and wander around like headless chickens.. The Tandoor Grill had pieces of marinated chicken.. and i was getting hungry.  They hadn't said a flat NO to our faces, well maybe because we couldn't see their faces in the dark and 3 seconds and swooosh the person is gone. If not this one, there one just one place remaining. I sent the other two to check for any vacant rooms in the other shack remaining. I stood there like a rock, not wanting to budge as i had seen a glint of hope. The father stood at the grill outside the shack. I started pleading him to give us a place to stay. There was a point when i was down on my knees with my hands joined on eye level to the tandoor grill. Black bits of the grilled meat flew everywhere around me. This was a serious moment hence we couldn't capture it on our cameras. However, we have a mental picture engraved in our minds.  He said that the place is full. We could sleep on the floor in the restaurant area  with four others who had decided to stay there (yay). All that he would provide us is a straw mat to sleep on. A lot of other shack owners had offered us a mat to sleep on the floor, however this one felt safer as it was family run.  We agreed. After a little of coaxing, the young girl (the most co-operative) told us to wait. And a few minutes later escorted us to a room. We had struck gold. Prison cells in most countries would be better decorated ! It had a cement concrete bed and a 2 inch think mattress covered in a faded old bed sheet, rusted fan and no power supply. But it felt like, it was a Palace. It cost us Rs 300 for the night, i.e about GBP 3.00 for the three of us ! WOWZA..  Rooms like these make great stories. We chucked our stuff in the room and ran to the beach. Most of the night was spent eating and lying under the stars *priceless*. A group of foreigners lit a bonfire and one of them played the guitar as we stared at the stars..

Kudle Beach

Gokarna is regarded as poor man's Goa.. I must say, the rich are missing out on something spectacular. This place boasts virgin beaches, picturesque locales and beach shacks/huts that are more like home stays managed by one or two people. The facilities are basic. By saying that I'm being modest.  However the place is breath taking. Especially if you have friends that make you love life more, then you would never want to be back.  

Mint Tea Magic

The shore has a cafe after every few yards. Each one is decorated with Indian handicrafts. These cafes serve more of continental food than Indian treats. Most of the places in Goa may not have many of these treats. The food is great in most places. A 20 min trek takes you to Kudle beach. There is no other way to get to the beach ! How lovely..

OM Beach

We had initially planned to take the 4pm train back to Mangalore the next day. Travelling ticket less was one of my greatest motivations to leave this place.  Also i had a flight to board the next morning back to Bombay. I convinced Bappi's friend to allow us to extend Gokarn departure time to later than 4pm. I was wanting to see the sunset. She agreed. We sat in our resident cafe , sipping on mint tea watch the sun leave us.


Our journey back to Mangalore was an experience in itself. I could write a new blog entry on it. However i have written enough... So i would cut the description short. We got to Kumta station at 11pm to board a train arriving at 12.15am. 

Midnight Dance

An hour at Kumta railway station was spooky. 
We decied to head to the waiting room.As we walk in there is no place, we walk in, some of them wake and offer us some seats.. Trying to me as quiet as we can, we think about our options as we have none left. The train is running late and we got no tickets. We call our 2 am friends to book our seats on the internet. When i look around in the room, now almost everybody is awake, seems like our "being quiet" wasn't quiet enough..  While in that thought, i see a lizard scrawling on the ceiling right above my head and i SCREAM..... and run out the room. Now everyone is awake.. I did not enter the waiting room, my friends got my bags and we walked to the platform.
There were not many people and the ones around were all sound asleep. People would occasionally wake up to attend to nature's call (not a pretty site). It was dark and quiet. We were exhausted to the bone, however this didn't stop us from being a pain in the ass to others present. We clicked a gazzilion pics with flash on.. and giggled when people woke up due to our banter. (thats right... we r going to rot in hell), when that was done, we didn't miss out on james bond impersonation, ram-leela and some yoga postures..ALL FOR THE CAMERA..   An hour later, we learn our train has been delayed by 2 hours.. Grr. BAd karma i guess. So we waited until 2.15 am to finally squeeze ourselves in to the train. There was no seat for us. Were we going to accept that and stand for 5 hours ? NO way.. We three hopped on to the wooden luggage rack above the seats. The rack under my bum was broken, Out of the four planks, it had just two. So if i lose my balance i would be landing into the annoying lady's lap. The family in our train booth were so annoying. I would slap them all. I spent my journey giggling at them and lost of eyes rolling. and spent our journey making more and more memorable moments..


This trip couldn't have got any better... I swear by every inch i gained on my waist due to excessive intake of aloo parathas.. 

The g00d Times have begun... (indeed)

Happiness.  my head will explode of love. They say , too much of anything can be harmful in life. Then why is it cant get enough of love ? Today i shun  the term 'long distance'.. That is nothing but bull shit. strings are attached through our hearts. not by our physical existence.. NOpe.. Sitting on the tube, surrounded by a hundred strangers,  my mind races to special people living in 7bunglows - media mogul, Derralakatte, St George street, abu dhabi, pefka thessaloniki, sofia and blairwitch's maryland.. why ? if physical existence mattered then i should be connecting to the dopey man, urine stinking oldie, and the girl applying make up since 10 mins.. (seriously, how can one apply eyeliner sitting on a wobbly tube ? )


Gratitude. I give my heartfelt gratitude to GOD because he makes me meet my kind of people in life..and when we meet.. we click.. and then there is no clicking back... oops i meant no looking back. I have only attracted people who are "Pure" like me. These people understand that a few lines written are far more precious then materialistic baubles. They understand that travelling on a midnight train to be in the city for roughly 24 hours will mean the world to me. They shower love by filming raunchy dance routine.  Their presence is felt when its needed the most. NOte to self : Hold on to them.. forever.. (echo sounds) ever ever evr...


Progress. I am excited to see this year unfold bit by bit . Its going to be crucial. I will be taking some important professional decisions for sure in the coming months. Whether they are good or bad, I will blog about it for sure.  I have learnt some valuable lessons in 2011. Every day was a challenge in itself and i know this year is going to be no different. The mistakes will not be repeated. The idea is to transform anger to discipline, prolonged sulking into gratitude and forgiveness, negativity to optimism, challenge myself to take more risks and more impulsive decisions as this time i have is precious..
This year is not going to be about maintaining moderation... it will be all about embracing it with over the top optimism and enthusiasm. I 'll voice my opinions louder than before,  fight to be heard, i"ll travel more, I'll eat, drink, meditate and socialise more.. more importantly communicate more more  more.. (Work in progress).


One Life...


Happy new year !!!!!!

U r Special...

what matters the most ? Money, Job, Love ????  Well , my answer varies from time to time. The important point is that every point , there is that one thing that matter to you. And when you aspire , you only think about that one thing.. I live for moments. I am back from one such moment. And , this post is dedicated to her.. She is my chaddi buddy.. stood like a rock through thick and thin. Today she catches a midnight train to Bombay to spend New years and will be back to her uni tomo. A trip for 24 hours ! Now , no heaps of money, flashy cars, or gold biscuits can match , how happy and content I feel , at this moment. Some adorable friends arranged to meet at a shopping mall. I meet them.. and hop on the escalator leading to the food court.. And there she stood... like an angel from the sky, who has come down to give me hope and happiness for the coming year.  I do the obvious.. scream on top my lungs, hug her tight like i would never let go, making a terrible attempt to fight my my tears.  I cannot explain , the life that this moment has put into me..  There are people you love and love you back unconditionally. But people who show their love  at the time when it is needed the most is precious. I realise, I live for such moments... and i could die such people.  I have had very little luck this year, and was almost crumbling down to issues faced... Girl, you lifted me up.  It is because of you, i am excited for the next 24 hours.. every minute will be cherished. While i see u laugh, i will capture those moments in my heart and keep them with me to get through the troubling times i may have to face in 2012..  I love you so much.. Thank you for being you...

"meri zindagi savari, mujhko gale lagaake,, baitha diya falak pe,, mujhe khaak se uthaa ke..

   yaara teri yaari ko... maine khuda maana.... yaad karegi  duniyaaa... tera mera afsaana..."

khaareka.. (lovely to meet you)

Its 10.00 pm , Tesco employees are about to call it a day. Every visit to tesco, I have more of less the same purchases.. Yogurt, hummus , pasta, sauce are some of the regulars..Today, as I  walk through dairy aisle, I see feta cheese... I smile... A little ahead I reach out to pick Greek yogurt, I break into a smile.. Two aisle past.. I walk across the oil section and see a collection of olive oils...  and i smile..  

I'm taken back by 3 months...I was in Greece. I went to visit my dear dear friend... Let's call her 'kharalambe'. Although she is not my blog follower, if she ever reads this post , it would make her laugh.. 'inside joke'  She is wonderful.. What i learnt later that , the people in her life are wonderful too.   Greeks and Indians are similar in more than one way.. i couldn't help but the notice the similarities of our cultures. People who love food, noisy family gatherings,religion, culture and traditions, music and dance are like mirror reflection of the curry lovers in the Indian subcontinent. No wonder i got on with these people...  Swap a few things like Zeibekiko with Bhangra, coffee with tea,  curry with feta cheese and there you go.. we have very similar loud people dancing and belching some gorgeous scrumptious food !    When I landed into her city she was the only person I knew...and each day that number went on increasing..    Similarities between Indians and the Greeks.. 

• We do not wait... not in queues , not on traffic lights , no where.. everything we need should be delivered at rocket speed or else be sure of some "customer lovin"
• we can break into song and dance at any time of the day... u meet a new person.. u break the ice.. u dance a few sirtaki steps... thats normal..
• dads should have beLLy... they aint dads without their cute beLLY
• FOOD FOOD FOOD... we eat all the time... Indian meal comprise of daal rice vegetables meat ... A greek meal comprises of baked dishes, 2-3 salads, stuffed peppers, fresh feta cheese and more..
• homosexuality,is a no-no... greek women should find a nice greek boy, date for a few years... get married and dance sirtaki all night, and make babies... 
• Indian and Greek public sector work at snail space... money and status can open all doors.. laid-back bureaucrats are all couch potatoes feasting on tax payers monies and looking to make some more under the table
• we swear... a LOT.. 
• its okay to enter a no entry once in a while.. and then when confronted with an incoming vehicle.. resort to damage control, smile, apologize.. if that doesn't work.. say some swear words and drive on.

When i got back home, i felt rejuvenated. I was touched by their hospitality, their love and their kindness. When I saw families bonding over dinner conversations.. i couldn't help but miss my own family. I called mom & dad almost every other day.  When you meet a stranger, they meet you as though they have known you for years.. No person seems aloof.  I made these judgements by experiencing 2 weeks in Greece. I may have had a small glimpse of people and their lifestyle.. make not be sufficient to make such accurate judgements... but for me... greece gave me what i needed at that time. I went there, a broken soul.. I was healed by feeling welcomed by my hosts.  Its not that place that makes the a holiday special.. Its the people. And this was one trip where i felt as though i struck gold, the place is breath taking.. more importantly the people are warm and have hearts of gold.  Greece is undergoing changes, financially it the country is suffering. I saw homeless people asking for money, food... i saw pubs and restaurants with locks on it due to increasing overheads and no business, i met people looking for jobs for over 12 months...  This was October. This aint summer.. where people are carefree and relaxed.. This was the crunch time... And i found what i was looking for. I wanted to experience humility, kindness, endurance.. and i saw these traits in people on many occasions. I met people who seemed to be the happiest souls , but layers below they have loads of worries.. They embrace it with a smile..  Sakis Rouvaz, is one of the most popular singing, style icon sings "OLA KALA >> OLA KALA" which means.. All is well..  and i felt people actually practicing it. They are positive and fearless. Some simple words that i needed to inculcate in my life the, even now.  

I came to Greece empty handed.. but i left with a bit of "greece" with me..  
When i boarded my return flight.. i didnt say my goodbyes.. i know i'll be back soon.. Yaamas.. 


(This sat in my drafts for 3 months... it finally gets published)

Burning out

Mess. With great difficulty. Don't know what has got into me.. as this year ends i am taking a step each day to discontentment, acute dissatisfaction and hints of failure. I am standing in front of deadly crossroads. Don't know where to go from here ? Life seems fragmented.. the optimist in me reassures me that these distorted fragments will all result into a beautiful picture. But, my patience is running out.  What I thought will always make me happy, I discover it doesn't anymore. When I clear out the thought in my head, I fail to clear out one sound 'tick-tock.. tick-tock'  And i honestly don't know what will let me be at peace. As this year comes to an end, i am hoping on to a Mayan theory of life ending in 2012! 

They say, life makes sense when looked at it backwards.. too bad we got to live it looking forward..

Baby u're all that i wAnt... (to watch)

"After watching him perform, i think i like his music"  You think ???? This is so unfair. There are a million fans of this MAN dying to watch him perform (ME ME ME ME x million times) and when my younger sister gets the privilege to watch him perform up close in Bombay , she tells me that she THINKS she likes him..  That's it, i have got to kill her , NOW..  I sounded dead on the other side of the receiver as filled me up with Bryan Adams goodness.  For days to come, I learnt that half of the people i know in Bombay went for his show. This is why i hate facebook. Sometimes it gives us a little more information than we need. All my friends were there, i don't blame them.. the man ain't growing any younger, who would want to miss the opportunity of listening to him live. I know who.. William+Kate Wedding fans. I missed it as, I was rotting in London, forcefully watching Prince William and Kate Middleton get married live (yawn). Why didn't i change the channel ? Thats because every channel aired it live.. hmph.


If there is one distinct memory of my school days, then it has to be singing "Everything I do, I do it for you" seated at the back benches with a few friends with so much passion as though we are looking into our Prince-Charming's sparkly eyes.. Those were my school days. When I got done with school , college and university, nothing ever changed. With every new phone I purchased, transferring Bryan Adams songs on to it was a ritual.  Song after song, i loved his voice even more.


Last night,*ecstatic* I scratched a big bullet point of my bucket list. I watched him perform LIVE. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. When he sang, i didn't sing along (i thought i would sing my lungs out ).. all i did is watched him , with very less blinking of the eye. For 2 hours 13 mins, I couldn't take my eyes off him.  Bryan Adams walked in to a house full at the O2 Arena at the age of 52 ! People around me were from all age groups. There were students, professionals, mums... everyone. How can one man appeal to so many age groups ? When u look around you see a 50 something man singing along with a 20 year old with the same enthusiasm.. They didn't know each other but now they are happily singing arm in arm.  That's what music should do, bring people together.

An Italian couple we met, had been to more than 20 Bryan Adam concerts till date. The lady happily said, she had attended 4 this year. 4 of BRYAN ADAMS concerts ?? (to confirm my hearing is right ) I looked at her jaw dropped. They flew down from Italy to watch him perform and this is the usual for them.  Where do you work , honey ?any vacancies ? You can see the her forehead in the pic LOL.
What can i say, Some people make full use of their EU status ! Bless her. I'd do the same in her place. She said that she has always returned happy after each concert. Mr Adams does not disappoint his audience.. They leave the venue singing in chorus "I am comin BACK to You". And i can vouch for that.

You will find no dancers, no fancy props, no glitz-glamour, no fake boobs/ eyelashes, no corsets, no dress changes, no pole dancers.. just soulful, money's worth  MUSIC.. :-)  A band of 5 can create MAGIC. 

I hate this chubby man's hand on my pic. He ruined it. Couldn't he make out with his petite girlfriend/ wife a bit more ? tsk tsk

I got goosebumps when he sang 'Heaven', my favourite song for years now. I was star-struck stared at him  fighting tears bottling up in the corner of my eyes. His voice is mesmerising. I could see my life flash in front of my eyes. I was taken back in time. It was surreal. I stared at him as though it was my last time at his concert. I don't know if i would be fortunate enough to attend another of his stellar performances. This was my only chance. I thought to myself, what if he doesn't tour again ? Or what if Prince Harry gets married to Pippa ?

At the end, his band members left the stage and Bryan sang three of his classics all by himself with the help of his acoustic guitar and occasionally played the harmonica.. all at once.. He asked the audience to flash their phones in air, the auditorium. It looked as though we stood under a blanket of stars !

Perfect ending to a magical night..

I had always wished to watch him perform live. And somehow it all fell into place. It gave me so much happiness, i cannot even start to tell you ! *wink*  I bought these expensive tickets 4 months in advance hesitantly. After last night, i felt it was worth every dime.. 

So, if you have anything you wish for... then just do it and MAKE IT HAPPEN (E.Pittinger,2010)

BRYAN ADAMS  I  LOVE YOU !!!